>From our "local procedures" file:
At Victoria we have a reporting point, a hotel, which is called "The
Waddling Dog".
One day recently, an American pilot called the tower,
reporting, "Bonanza 4567Y, Discovery Island, landing."
The tower controller responded, "Roger 67Y, call the Waddling Dog on 119.7 for left base 09."
The American acknowledged with, "Roger that, and, uh, we're over the nudist colony at this time."
The controller, completely taken in, said, "WHERE IS THAT?"
"You first," the American laconically responded.
Heard on a pre-flight announcement from an American Airlines pilot:
"On our flight today, we will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire State buildings stacked one on top the other."Our speed will be about 500 miles per hour. That is just over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45 pistol."
"We will be pushed along by two Pratt and Whitney JT-8D-200 turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower varies with altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is greater than the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel locomotives."
"In other words, we're faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas based crew stands for truth, justice, and the AMERICAN way!"